As someone who works with executives, salespeople and business owners to create peak performing outcomes, a common phrase my clients will hear from me is, “how you show up in one area of your life is how you show up in every area of your life.”
If I ask a client to complete a specific task by a particular time and they haven’t done it, with no real reason, and that behaviour is ongoing, then that tells me that person will more than likely show up with that same approach or attitude with their clients as well, impeding their uccess. It also provides scope for feedback and improvement to move toward that peak performance result everyone is looking for, especially for those that are comfortable enough in their skin to receive real feedback.
Ultimately it’s about congruence. Whilst the presenting issue may be hard core results based ie more sales, presentation skills, lack of skill set etc, ultimately it is all about clarifying who that person is and how to be more of who they can be. It can’t not be.
And that takes a special person to say ‘OK let’s do it.’ The person who says that, is already a peak performer.
We see it on personality profiles, how our adaptive state and our natural states differ when we are at home or at work. I see it all the time, how people are in environments where they feel they can’t be the ‘real’ them. Some people put on airs, some people wear a mask and others feel they are imposters and think that any minute they will get ‘found out’. This continual acting as if they have it all together is exhausting and stressing and saps every ounce of their
energy and unfortunately for many, leads to physical illness and lack of results.
When you can give yourself permission to be the real you, you become a better leader, a more influential salesperson, a role model parent [fill in your desired role here]. You don’t need to feel disjointed between who you are and you think you should be. When you can step into that space of ‘this is who I am’ instead of apologising for who you are or pretending you’re someone you’re not or explaining your life away. When you can take responsibility and own your emotions, acknowledge and accept the circumstances you are experiencing, then you become totally authentic and everything becomes easier.
What are the rules you are living by that says you can’t be who you are? Are their rules at your place of work, amongst your colleagues? Are their rules you have to live by with your clients? Rules that clash with your values and what is important to you? Do you even know at the rules and values are? {Call me if you don’t, please!}
You can wear a mask with people at work and be the most persuasive, charismatic and charming person between the hours of 9 to 5, yet at home you will always default to more of the real you. Who is that person?
You might be able to rise to the occasion on cue with clients, yet the little things that your family needs might never get done. Who is that person?
The most important words we can utter are those we say to ourselves about ourselves when by ourselves. This is the time when we are most truthful to ourselves. What are those words you are saying to yourself? Or are you worrying too much about the words other people might be saying about you?
So, is how you are showing up in one area of your life congruent with how you show up in all areas of your life? If yes, you are in the minority and if no, then dare to be that change.