How well you speak the other person’s language? How well you get on that person’s wavelength? There are some people, as professional as they are, as knowledgeable as they are, as helpful as they are, that simply just rub you the wrong way. They’re just not your kind of people.
I remember when I moved from New York City to San Diego, I found a whole different world. I treated people in San Diego according to The Golden Rule – I treated them as I wanted to be treated – as a New Yorker wanted to be treated. I found out that the way people did business in San Diego wasn’t the way people did business in New York City. And even though I was doing things competently with knowledge and with ethics, it was my approach that turned people off. It wasn’t what I was asking them to do that prompted them to “dig in their heels.” It was howI was asking them. I just came on too strong. It wasn’t too strong in New York; it was too strong in San Diego. Too fast-paced. Just a whole different approach. I had to get on their wavelength.
So, it’s important that you learn to vary your presentation, to vary your pace, to vary your language based on the type of people you’re speaking to. I mean, if you’re calling on somebody who is a bottom-line, time-disciplined, fact-oriented, busy, results-oriented individual, are you going to go in, spend ten or fifteen minutes “chit-chatting” or socializing trying to get to know that person? Obviously not! If you’re calling on somebody who’s a very friendly, outgoing person who likes to talk about sports and likes to talk about family and likes to talk about just various things about business and wants to get to know somebody first and you walk in and bottom-line everything with little or no social talk, do you think that might irritate that person? Definitely! So, you have to size people up and get on their wavelength to create chemistry so that person will say, “Hey, you’re the type of person I want to do deal with on a long-term basis.”
This whole approach is called ‘adaptability” – your ability to change your approach, to change your strategy, depending on the situation or the person you’re dealing with. That’s how you really connect with people quicker, deeper and longer.